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I have to admit, I had a fine old time last week when the wife went on holiday, leaving me alone.

I had planned on working, but as soon as her cab turned the corner, I decided to take a vacation, and concentrate on getting laid. The way things were going with the wife, this was pretty much a now or never proposition.

Naturally, I considered old girlfriends first. They had already succumbed to my charms, not to mention wine, dinner, movies, drinks, gifts, trips, lies, and mock begging. Why not again? There were two left in New York; I got their numbers on the Internet.

I called the first number; a man answered. I asked for Carmen with Creamy Tits. Who's calling?

Karl Krebs.

He shouted, Carmen, Karl Krebs? There was a shout back from the shower and the line went dead. I could just hear that squeaky voice going on: He calls every ten years. But thinking about Carmen's warm black body, and her big tits, all soaped up in a steamy shower, gave me a real stiffy.

On to Plan B: Shawnee. She had to be in her late forties, and I tried to imagine how her fleshy, fulsome figure had fared over the years. I pictured things bulging and sagging; but then again, I've always enjoyed fucking full- figured babes. Besides, Shawnee's oral talents were beyond compare. She could suck a golf ball through a straw, and she received as good as she gave. I had fond memories of eating lemon cream cannolis off her vagina, then working my cream-coated tongue around to pleasure her hypersensitive clit. That was when the sheet-clinging, cursing, and cumming would commence, and wouldn't stop until I fucked her, hard and wild.

I got an answering machine. If you need to reach me, I'm at. . . I punched the number.

Shawnee's Pilates. Can I help you?

Shawnee, I said, It's Karl Krebs.

Karl Krebs! she gasped, as if saying Good grief! But after zipping through the how-ya-doings and where-ya-beens, she said, Karl, why don't you drop by the studio? We can get reacquainted.

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Creamy Tits